no coffee house

So my friend and I won’t be performing for coffee house this Friday and Saturday. I mean I kind of assumed that when my partner skit wasn’t at school for part of last week and Monday of this week but I kind of held out hope we would still be able to perform. But then my skit partner told me why she thought we should forget about it I completely understood. With everything going on in her life she didn’t really need to have to worry about performing in front of a packed house. But unfortunately our acting teacher is disappointed in us. Not because we had to quite the show but because apparently yesterday in class she told us to go over our lines and see where we were and then talk with her after class about whether or not we would be able to do it. Well I do remember clearly that she told us to take the class period to go over our lines but I do not remember her telling us to see her after class. In fact I don’t really remember her making it sound as if we actually had a choice about whether or not we were performing. It sounded to me that she was convinced that we were going to being the show. And I have a pretty good memory, actually a really good memory when it comes to teachers’ because I really don’t like to disappoint them. But apparently I must have forgotten because she supposedly made it very clear that we were to, either individually or together meet with her to discuss our decision about coffee house. Did I mention the fact that she was no where in sight when class finished? Yeah she was not in her office so even if we had “remembered’ to see her we wouldn’t have been able to find her. Plus we had 8th period class after acting so we couldn’t go around looking for her had we “remembered.” And after that we had activity and I had to meet with my Spanish teacher to go over my Spanish project and after that I had to catch a bus. I was aware that I should at least let my acting teacher know somehow that we were not going to be in the show before we got on the bus so I asked some of my friends to tell her that we were not showing up and that we would talk with her tomorrow. But apparently the message didn’t get conveyed to her or the last part was dropped out or maybe my acting teacher didn’t care that we were going to talk it over with her the next day. I admit I am kicking myself I should have at least called her, which is so simple I can’t believe I was so stupid not to do it. But it’s not like my acting teacher didn’t know there was a freaking possibility we couldn’t do it, in fact I had been freaking out about since last week. I went to HER to talk about what would happen but apparently that doesn’t matter. Apparently my skit partner and I are still unprofessional. I went to HER today before chapel to talk with her and I asked her if my skit partner had talked to her because I knew one of us was going to talk with her and I wanted to see whether or not my skit partner had done it already. But my acting teacher told me no and she proceeds to tell me how we disappointed her and how she clearly told us to talk with her after class about whether or not to do the show and that we were behaving unprofessionally. Forget the fact that I could probably point out days when she wasn’t acting in a professional matter but then again when you’re the boss I guess how you act doesn’t matter as long as those believe you act in a professional matter.
Well this occurred right before chapel, and I had to do a dramatic reading, but I was so angry and hurt but one of my teachers managed to calm me down after I told her what happened. She told me to remember that my acting teacher is under a lot of stress. But at least my anger helped me with my dramatic reading. I read a poem by Gloria Anzaldua entitled The Borderlands and it is a very powerful poem. I thought I did horribly because I was still so angry but numerous people came up to me and told me I did a great job. Even my acting teacher later in class told me I did a great job which did feel good I admit after being a disappointment to her. The poem was a difficult piece for me because my Spanish pronunciation isn’t so great and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to capture the passion in the poem but thank God (and I mean that literally) I was able to or so said numerous other people. It was kind of weird because I thought I did horribly but apparently not. There’s this one teacher I wanted to hear from, but he’s not my teacher this semester but his opinion really matters to me. I really want to know what he thought of my reading but that is a different subject entirely.
But this chapel really was well put together and was beautiful. The teacher helping the chaplain gave a very emotional and beautiful reflection. Some teachers and students were crying. Oh by the way if you haven’t guessed already by my one small paragraph about the poem, the chapel today was about immigration and the border and about humanizing the people who risk their lives to cross the border.