The farnsworth invention

So let me start with the bad thing that happened so that I can get it off my chest and let it go.
Ok first in my One Act Plays class, my acting teacher asked us (her students) to speed read our lines from memory. We had to give her our scripts and she would see how well we had our lines memorized. Well me and my skit partner messed up and she tells us “You fail” and telling to rehearse more. Yeah she was probably not being too serious and didn't mean to hurt me but she did. She was like pushing my skit partner and I out the door. I mean seriously I didn’t mind the rehearsing more but I was totally pissed off with the whole situation. Me and my skit partner knew our lines. I had nailed my lines perfectly during rehearsal two days ago and my skit partner did make a few mistakes but in general she knew her lines. I knew my lines but what she didn’t understand is that I don’t like to be rushed especially when it comes to saying my lines. I don’t like to have to be forced to think so hard about my lines to get it perfect. When I’m onstage the lines come to me because I become my character. I don’t have to force my lines to come to me. Me and my skit partner worked our butts off to get our lines memorized. We spent lunch periods rehearsing. And two days ago when we had to spend over 3 hours waiting for our turn to rehearse we spent a lot of it rehearsing our lines. We even went outside in the bitter cold so we could try and work on our projection and our vocals. We had to rehearse on our own because in class she would work with the other coffee house acting skits. So sorry if we can’t run off our lines like a machine. I know it’s a stupid thing to be mad about. But I am mad and I’m hurt. We worked really hard on our lines together and I worked really hard on my lines. But obviously because I couldn’t read off my lines in like two minutes without getting lost I’m a failure. But whatever.
So yesterday my acting class went and saw “The Farnsworth Invention.” I loved it! It was an awesome show. So the play was about philo T Farnsworth (played by Jimmi Simpson) and the great race to produce a device that sends pictures from one place to another. And the play shows how incredibly bright Philo was. In 9th grade he drew his science teacher a picture of what a machine that could send moving pictures from one place to another would look like. And the play describes his journey and his obsession to try and make the TV and it also shows how he slowly started to break down because as the play progresses you see how David Sarnoff (Hank azaria) take advantage of Farnsworth. Sarnoff manages to create the first machine that could give a very clear picture of an object. But only by basically stealing information from Philo. (Farnsworth had created, years earlier, a machine that could produce a picture but it was of very poor quality and the amount of light needed to create a clear picture would be enough to blind a person). Many times during the play Farnsworth turned to alcohol to deal with his increasing stress and powerlessness. I just found Farnsworth’s story very sad. He had dedicated so many years to creating television to have it just taken away from him. There’s this one memorable scene in the play where Farnsworth tells Sarnoff that he wished had spent all those years trying to create an antibiotic for strap throat- the illness that killed his two year old son. He sacrificed so much only to have his invention stolen from right under his feet by Sarnoff. But there were moments where even I felt a little sorry for Sarnoff because he thought television would stop wars and all the atrocities committed in the world because humans couldn’t possibly commit such horrors if they saw what happened. He wanted television to entertain, educate, and inspire. Yet what he did was wrong. A memorable line that Sarnoff says towards the end of the play is, “I burned down his house, so he wouldn’t burn down mine.” When Sarnoff was 10 he saw his home burned by a Russian solider. He and his family had to flee the country. I guess Sarnoff was not going to let that happen again. He was not going to let Farnsworth burn down his house-his company.
I loved how the play was organized in such a way that Sarnoff would tell Farnsworth’s story and Farnsworth would tell Sarnoff’s story and there would be moments when one would try and correct the other or times when Sarnoff and Farnsworth disagreed about an event that happened. I don’t know. The play just got to me. It just hurts me how a person can invest so many years of their lives in something only to have it fall apart. Only to find out that all those years were wasted. Yes without him we may not have had television but look at the price Farnsworth had to pay.
Well in happier news I got to meet Jimmie Simpson, get his autograph, and have my picture taken with him. It’s actually a funny story. I asked if I could have my picture taken with him and he says yes so I give my camera to someone in the acting class. I stand next to him thinking that, “oh ok. I’ll just stand next to him” but he puts his hand around my shoulder and pulls me near him and I am quite surprised and I feel a little awkward. So I am looking towards the ground and my head is like leaning on him and I am blushing in the pic. Basically I look like I’m in love with him. It’s really quite funny. I’m going to try and upload the picture here. But I have dial-up and it may not happen which sucks.
I really wish I was back in Broadway. I really wish I could just escape life by going to watch all the Broadway shows. I really wish I could have actually talked to jimmi and get to know him a little. I’m a really lonely person and I don’t really have anybody that I am close too, and there are moments when I will meet a perfect stranger and want to get to know them because I think, “hey maybe this will be the person that understands me. That gets me. That cares about me.” I know pathetic. For the past day I’ve had fantasies of hanging out with him and his wife and seeing them perform and being close to them and being able to confide in them. I just am so hungry for connections with other people. I know that I’m not the only one who feels that. I know that this is basically the bane of human existence. But I also know that there are people who at least will go out and hang out with others and are able to have at least some connection with others. I feel like I don’t really have that. I don’t really have anybody I can trust too. I used to think I had my teachers but then a teacher (not my acting teacher) said something that made me remember that my teachers aren’t my friends. They never were and can never be.
I feel like ending this journal entry with some lyrics from the bravery’s CD, “the sun and the moon.”
“I am so homesick for someone that I never knew. I am so homesick for some place that I will never be all these precious moments you promised me would come in time. So where was I, when I missed mine?” The bravery- time won’t me go.
“I climbed up a mountain, and looked off the edgeAnd all of the lives that I never have led
Sixes and sevens we live on jet planesAnd so many faces I don't know the namesSo many friends now and none of them mineForgotten as soon as we meetAll of these moments are lost in timeYour caught on my head like a thorn on a vineBut to hurt but to mend me that I wonder whyDo I wish I’ve never known you at all[chorus]Oh the ocean rows us away, away, awayThe ocean rows us away
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, awayThe ocean rows us away”
The ocean

I know it’s not my best entry. It’s scattered and I have a lot of sentence fragments but I just needed to get some things off my chest.